Have you noticed how change doesn’t ask for permission? It just shows up and forces us to adapt.
“It’s all part of life’s rich pattern,” I can still hear my grandmother saying.
But my nervous system usually has a completely different reply: “It’s not fair, it’s difficult, and I don’t want it. It’s messy, it hurts, and every fiber of my being is rejecting it.”
If you have ever felt this way, you are far from alone. When a change occurs, even a transition that we actively want and chose, our brains don’t immediately celebrate. They panic.
Our minds are hardwired to love predictable routines because predictability equals safety. When change throws off our internal map, it triggers a predictable, three-step domino effect.
The 3-Step Domino Effect of Change
1. Overthinking (The Mental Spiral)
Your brain tries to solve the future by mentally rehearsing every single worst-case scenario. We easily mistake this hyper-vigilance for “planning,” but it is really just a desperate, exhausting attempt to control the uncontrollable.
2. Anxiety (The Physical Alarm)
Your brain cannot tell the difference between a real physical threat and an emotional transition. That mental worry quickly translates into physical symptoms: a tight chest, a racing heart, or a knot in your stomach.
3. Freeze (The Behavioral Stuckness)
When your mind is spinning and your body is uncomfortable, you naturally seek relief. To protect yourself, you subconsciously try to slow the change down. You procrastinate, overanalyze, or stay stuck in a familiar but unhappy situation.
A gentle reminder: If you resonate with any of this, there is nothing “wrong” with you. This is a completely normal human response to a stressful situation. Your nervous system is simply doing its job to keep you safe.
The Circuit Breaker: A 3-Step Exercise
While this sequence is natural, you don’t have to let it run the show. You can interrupt the spiral. Here is a simple, three-step circuit breaker you can use today to regain your footing.
Step 1: Shift from “What if?” to “What is?”
When your mind starts forecasting doom, pull it back to the present. Look around the room and name three concrete things that are completely true right now, in this exact second. For example: “I am sitting in my chair, I am breathing, I am safe.” This anchors your brain back into reality.
Step 2: Complete the Stress Cycle
Because anxiety lives in the body, you have to move through it physically. Give your nervous system a tangible cue that the immediate danger has passed. Take three long, slow exhales (making the exhale twice as long as the inhale), or physically shake out your hands to discharge the built-up tension.
Step 3: Pick the Smallest Imperfect Action
Once your nervous system feels even 5% safer, your brain becomes capable of logic again. Now, you can use that window of clarity to move.
Avoidance feeds fear. To break the freeze response, lower the bar completely. Pick the absolute smallest step you can take in the next five minutes.
- Scribble down your imperfect thoughts on scrap paper.
- Put on your trainers (you don’t even have to go for the walk yet).
- Tidy a single surface on your desk.
Action cures fear. Change is deeply uncomfortable, but it is also the only environment where growth can happen. Take it one breath and one small step at a time.
Let’s Navigate This Together
If you are facing a change right now and feel completely stuck in the overthinking or freeze phase, you don’t have to figure it out alone.
I would love to offer you some personalised support. I’ve frameworks, ideas and tools that you will find hard to navigate alone.
You can book a free 30-minute discovery call so we can chat through what you’re experiencing.
